Friday, May 21, 2010

Time Enough

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I wonder how she does it? How she manages to live such an exquisite life in so little time? I have so much "stuff" undone and unaddressed at the end of my days! Well, most days anyhow.

Lately I've noticed that my hours seem to shrink and stretch according to the purpose I put in them. If I have three small chores on my list it seems to take me the entire day to do them ... yet if I have fifteen life-or-death chores and situations that must be attended to within the same twenty-four hour time frame I'll have almost the exact amount of "left-overs" at the end of the day. Go figure!!

I suppose a lot of my "frayed ends" have to do with the time of the year. So much crammed into this in-between season! Summer sports and practices have already begun ... kids are exhausted from a full day of school and being rushed off to baseball and/or football. Weekend errands, yardwork and family time are all squished in among games (we have four this Saturday!) Teachers, kids and parents (and grandparents) are all tired and grumpy ... counting grades and counting minutes until that last program - that final dismissal bell that promises lazier days ahead.

And I'm really missing Mom through all of this season. She was my lifeline to sanity -- gently helping me balance my overfull cup when it threatened to spill into a mess. She would calmly listen to me rant without judgement and somehow without saying much at all would bring me back around full circle to a full-blown sense of "grateful" for it all!
Yet even more than the moral support I find myself missing the joy in her voice when I would call her with happy news; it made it somehow more real and fulfilling and I still catch myself reaching for the phone. Every day seems to be yet another of many firsts yet to live through without her ... Mother's Day ... my birthday next week .... So even when school is out the hard work of learning life goes on.
"The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough."

~Rabindranath Tagore


  1. i love that saying . . . . it's so true, too.

    thanks so much for your comment about the slideshow. i picture you holding Lucas and humming along, which continues to visit me in streams of song when my head needs one . . . .

    have a beautiful, fulfilling weekend, S.

  2. I do get that feeling of wanting to call your Mom. I did that for so long after my own mother died. It seemed impossible that I couldn't get to talk to her and give her my latest news. And there are those mileposts to pass, that first year. It's hard.

    But you are your mother's daughter, Susan! and you can always find the good parts in every day.