As I See It...

Leftovers

2011-11-28T23:43:00.004-06:00

Leftovers, a photo by Sparky2* on Flickr.

We had such a wonderful Thanksgiving with family ... and as a family we've survived some scary times and continue to be grateful for so very much. This year has been unsusually hectic and busy so I didn't have time to write a gratitude poem, take photos for posting with my good wishes for you all and didn't have time to make my mom's traditional Applesauce cake - always the shining star of our Thanksgiving dinner and a necessity for heralding the holiday season.

However ... when it had just hit me that I hadn't made that special cake I got a call from my youngest daughter, Kelly ... "Mom, I still have a half of Nonnie's last Applesauce cake in the freezer; should I bring it?" So the tradition continued without that dreaded misstep. :-)

I enoyed many leftovers this morning: the last of the the fall pumpkins and squashes mixed in with apples and Clementines, the last of the flowers that graced the Thanksgiving table and the last of the yummy cake. It seems only fitting that I share it all with you and this leftover Thanksgiving poem written years ago.

I personally had much, much to be thankful for this year... I hope you all did as well, and had a wonderful love-filled holiday.

Pilgrims

We make our journey home
each year to pick clean
the Thanksgiving turkey
and rattle family bones.

We know our roles
play them well,
shrink or swell to fit
our place at table,
our spot in photographs,
our corner.

I wander about the overflowing house
to an empty room and a seat by the window.
Voices fade, the moment surreal,
I strain to see and feel
the ghosts that swirl among
the bronzed leaves of autumns past.

They're all here.
They come to me, chilled
I will them to stay
warm themselves by the fire
that burns in the heart of a family.

Copyright ©2000 Susan M. Kennedy

Love + Laughter + Joy + Noise = Lukas

2011-11-17T07:14:00.001-06:00

I heard somewhere that little boys are mostly noise with dirt on it. lol! That sounds about right to me! What a treasure this noisemaker is!

If a rose blooms and there is no one there to see, does it smell as sweet?

The house behind us is vacant ... I'm afraid under sad circumstances. But while we were playing around I noticed over the fence top the most beautiful roses, clematis, tulip vine. It saddens me to know that there is no one there to enjoy their fragrance with morning coffee or tell them secrets as they trim spent blooms. Maybe I will sneak a few shots through the fence to welcome a new neighbor should one come soon.

My Leonardo

2011-11-16T01:02:00.002-06:00

One of Zachary's historical heroes is Leonardo da Vinci. He studied and researched him over the summer - and even built a model orthinopter. You can imagine how thrilled he was to have the honor of portraying da Vinci in his school's recent Multi Cultural Living Museum. He researched period clothing and we scoured Goodwill with happy results ... he wrote his own dialogue, perfected his accent and performed with style and gusto! A touch of a "button" brought each player to life to recite (he says it "felt like about 100 times" throughout the evening.) Leonardo would have been as proud as we were, I'm sure. :-)

Summer hesitating, reluctant to go ...

2011-11-16T00:48:00.002-06:00

And I find myself torn between rushing it into fall and holding on ...

and then there is a magic moment when the sun slants just so, the temperatures dip slightly and there is something special on the wind - and I feel as if I've been kissed by autumn and open my heart in welcome.

The poetry of earth is never dead:

2011-11-12T12:11:00.001-06:00

The poetry of earth is never dead:, a photo by Sparky2* on Flickr.

On the Grasshopper and the Cricket
by John Keats

The poetry of earth is never dead:
When all the birds are faint with the hot sun,
And hide in cooling trees, a voice will run
From hedge to hedge about the new-mown mead;
That is the Grasshopper's--he takes the lead
In summer luxury,--he has never done
With his delights; for when tired out with fun
He rests at ease beneath some pleasant weed.
The poetry of earth is ceasing never:
On a lone winter evening, when the frost
Has wrought silence, from the stove there shrills
The Cricket's song, in warmth increasing ever,
And seems to one in drowsiness half lost,
The Grasshopper's among some grassy hills.

Home Again!

2011-10-30T15:41:00.001-05:00

Queen Sophie Bell is nearly 16 years old. She's persnickity and grumpy and shows affection to only 3-4 people - "tolerates" another small handful and runs, hides or growls at most all others. To be honest, Sophie is not really very "catlike" ... has a more doggish personality. But we have a special bond. At a particularly low point in my life I went to the animal shelter and was immediately adopted by her when she jumped up on my shoulder, curled into my neck with her nose pressed against my cheek and serenaded me with the loudest purr I'd ever heard. She's spiritually nursed me through many a hard time since ... maybe because I know I was chosen BY her to be here FOR her and she challenges me to do so on a daily basis! I couldn't bear to let her down; it's not an option so she tells me! LOL!

Sophie has always been very skittish outdoors ... doesn't go out alone and doesn't stray far from her exit door, preferring that it stay open for a quick entrance if she gets frightened. That's why we were so alarmed when she went missing a few weeks ago. We replayed every scene of family going in or out when she could have slipped out unnoticed -- and there were a few. We searched the attic because we'd had a repairman up there (although she's never seemed the least bit curious about what's up there)We searched every inch of space inside the house and out ... all of her favorite hidey holes - fearing the worst because of her advanced age -- that she had simply reached her time and passed away in her sleep.

After three days my hopes were dimming and I was fearful each time I thought of a new area of the house to search. After five days I was beginning to allow myself just the tiniest bit of grieving ... just wishing I could find her and put her to rest. Yet I couldn't give up completely; it didn't stop me from looking for her - slowing down as I drove through the neighborhood, calling for her each night when it got quiet enough for me to hear if she responded.

On the seventh night, after the "kitty-kitty, here Sophie" calling ritual I went to bed and was awakened after midnight by my daughter calling, "Mom, come quick, Sophie's HOME!" And there she was, peering in the back door window, the same as her norm (from the other side of the door).

Where she was during that long week we'll likely never know. She's such a scaredy-cat that I can't fathom her being out in the big world alone. And she's such a particular piggy about her food and being fed on schedule that I'm thinking someone must have thought her a stray and taken her in -- maybe until they'd had enough of her persnickity cat self and tossed her back out to us again! ;-) Regardless, it's such a huge weight off my heart to know she's safe and home again - and purring in my ear.

The Cat's Song

Mine, says the cat, putting out his paw of darkness.
My lover, my friend, my slave, my toy, says
the cat making on your chest his gesture of drawing
milk from his mother's forgotten breasts.

Let us walk in the woods, says the cat.
I'll teach you to read the tabloid of scents,
to fade into shadow, wait like a trap, to hunt.
Now I lay this plump warm mouse on your mat.

You feed me, I try to feed you, we are friends,
says the cat, although I am more equal than you.
Can you leap twenty times the height of your body?
Can you run up and down trees? Jump between roofs?

Let us rub our bodies together and talk of touch.
My emotions are pure as salt crystals and as hard.
My lusts glow like my eyes. I sing to you in the mornings
walking round and round your bed and into your face.

Come I will teach you to dance as naturally
as falling asleep and waking and stretching long, long.
I speak greed with my paws and fear with my whiskers.
Envy lashes my tail. Love speaks me entire, a word

of fur. I will teach you to be still as an egg
and to slip like the ghost of wind through the grass.

~ Marge Piercy `

The Puddle Walker ... Our Ritual of Fall

2011-10-29T01:49:00.007-05:00

The Puddle Walker ... Our Ritual of Fall, a photo by Sparky2* on Flickr.

Finally ... it was brisk, cool ... just rained. Even at 2 1/2 he felt the call .. to the puddles. That's my boy .... ;-)

Curls Anyone?

2011-10-29T01:48:00.002-05:00

Curls Anyone?, a photo by Sparky2* on Flickr.

My daughter tried a hair curling, no-heat technique (using a stretchy band) that I found on Pinterest. It worked so well and she was so excited we had to take immediate pics to send her sister! Her hair is much like mine (stick straight and curl-resistant) and the curl has not faded one iota throughout the entire day! The excellent (and adorable) video tutorial is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYxS1ohz4Ao&feature=player_embedded

No Faeries at Home

2011-09-30T22:39:00.003-05:00

No Faeries at Home, a photo by Sparky2* on Flickr.

It's been a hard and complicated row to hoe this summer, but it's easing. The days are getting shorter making that last bit of strong light at the end of the day so sweet it's almost unbearable.

The draught and high temps have made me wonder if we'll have a true autumn this year but I'm praying for one however brief. I need that time of transitioning to reset my bodyclock and my mind. But I'll try not to get too far ahead of myself. There is too much to love about the moments at hand; tomorrow will take care of itself.

The Gift of Rain and Hummingbird Wars

2011-08-29T18:40:00.002-05:00

This morning we had RAIN! Glorious, glorious rain! I settled on the patio with my coffee and camera and thoroughly enjoyed the cooler air and the fresh scent and sweet sounds of rain. I had hoped to get some snaps of the hummingbirds that started visiting again (once I had the presence of mind to refill the feeder!) And sure enough I was treated to a show ... another round of "The Hummingbird Wars".

Two males are involved in a turf war - and they get so wrapped up in their chase that I become downright invisible to them ... they buzz around my head and shoulders as though I was just another tree-like obstacle in their path. The entire production reminds me of war jets in a military "dog fight" ... and several times they've actually brushed my cheek or arm. Great fun to watch them, but impossible to catch with a still camera. Next time I'll try to have video ready to go!

Bone Dry

2011-08-20T14:26:00.020-05:00

Bone Dry

These last days of summer have left me weary.
Heat has climbed,
and climbed, reaching
the two crows on their wire,
fading blue black to dust.
The geraniums, cooking in clay pot
once succeeding brilliant
look uncertain, plain...
done.

My energy lags...
clever wit gone dry as my garden.
Brittle thoughts rustle,
cracked and withered in the glare.

I watch the sky for rain.

Copyright ©2000 Susan Kennedy

We've come so close to breaking the record for consecutive days over 100 degrees and I just wanted to smack the silly tv weather persons for hoping for it! I'm pretty sure that in my little corner of Texas we did. 46 straight days of mostly 102-109 temps ... then a break of two days barely below 100 and we've started another heat streak. Yesterday WAS a record-breaking 107 for the date in Texas.

It's actually been too miserable outside past noon each day to enjoy summer the way we normally do. Pool and lake water is tepid at best, bathwater warm at worst and not worth the risk of blistered feet to get to it! I could whine for a while about the loss of our more carefree, fun summer days, but that wouldn't make it any cooler, would it? We've made do with movies, trips to the library and walks after dark. I'm just so thankful that the air conditioners in house and car are holding out for us and the threatened rolling blackouts haven't actually happened as yet and (though it's not enough) we are still allowed to water grass and shrubs 2X a week and sprinkler play with the kids & pets during that time becomes really special. I guess we'll know the true extent of the damage to root systems and foundation later. First lack of time made my house & yard look sad and neglected ... now I have just a bit more time and there is not much left to tend!

I was so hoping to get back to the beach this summer, but Hub's vacation time has been put off, postponed and finally vetoed outright due to changes within his company. Scary stuff and there is always the sense that one dare not complain in this economy! Now there is talk about working through the upcoming Labor Day holiday as well ... not a good thing ... and I worry about him.

School starts Monday and I feel for those poor teachers and students; heat does not make for happy, energetic instruction nor enthusiastic, cooperative learning! Oh, what a good rain and cooler temps will do for the spirits around here as well as the green and flowering things! Come on, Fall!!

***Note: As you can see, I started working on this post last weekend - and never had time to finish it. Not much has changed wrt the heat, that's for sure - other than we've truly beaten more than a few records now. I think we've now had 69 days of temps over 100 for the year.

Meek - McCarter Wedding

2011-08-13T16:07:00.000-05:00

My first! So many things could go wrong making a trip (with family in tow) to Louisiana for a first wedding shoot! And it started badly with a botched car rental which caused us to nearly miss the rehearsal dinner entirely the night before! But I think we recovered nicely for the actual event.

Heather is my sweet niece and so it was extra important to me that this special day was beautifully captured for her, Matt and little Alyssa. What a precious little family they are now! With nearly 400 shots from pre-wedding, ceremony and reception I can honestly say that I don't think I missed many of those special moments! ;-)

Heather was a lovely bride:

We enjoyed a little playtime (but at least, Heather, I'm not posting the shots of you "pole dancing" in the church! ;-)

Daddy couldn't resist another baby girl hug

Matt made a handsome groom, too ...

Summer Is ...

2011-08-01T07:51:00.001-05:00

Summer Is ..., a photo by Sparky2* on Flickr.

Summer Is ...
... Long days with nights
that stretch as we like
Strong light that runs, plays,
melts into the wet
And soft expectations that allow -
and let and let
and let
us live it long.
~ Susan M. Kennedy

Summertime

2011-07-22T14:19:00.001-05:00

Summertime, a photo by Sparky2* on Flickr.

"Ice cream is exquisite. What a pity it isn't illegal." Voltaire (Francois Marie Arouet) (1694-1778) French philosopher.

"My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate that's my philosophy."
Thornton Wilder

Summer Morning Light

2011-07-22T14:13:00.000-05:00

You haven't lived until you've tasted a chilled Clementine Cutie Tangerine in the summertime!

Ok, so these photos are early summer - before it became absolutely mandatory to close every curtain and shade tightly against our Texas heat (and the electric bills)! After 19 straight days of temps over 100 F. summer is no longer my favorite season. I'm discovering that I suffer from light deprivation unless I brave the heat some every day! ;-)

But, I do leave this one window uncovered - over the kitchen sink ... and the light did wonderful soothing spirit things with this lovely birthday gift from the grandkids: petunia petals floating in a Mason jar (decorated by the talented Maddie. :-)

Summer in the South

2011-06-17T08:36:00.001-05:00

Summer in the South, a photo by Sparky2* on Flickr.

Summer in the South
~ by Paul Laurence Dunbar ~

The oriole sings in the greening grove
As if he were half-way waiting,
The rosebuds peep from their hoods of green,
Timid and hesitating.
The rain comes down in a torrent sweep
And the nights smell warm and piney,
The garden thrives, but the tender shoots
Are yellow-green and tiny.
Then a flash of sun on a waiting hill,
Streams laugh that erst were quiet,
The sky smiles down with a dazzling blue
And the woods run mad with riot.

To be alive

~ by Gregory Orr

To be alive: not just the carcass

But the spark.

That's crudely put, but…

If we're not supposed to dance,

Why all this music?

I participate in a wonderful photography group in which there is a topic/theme for a weekly challenge. All of our works for this group are to be based upon things in our home and gardens. This week was "What's new? What have you brought home lately?"

I've brought so few new things into the home this past year that I had to wrack my brain to come up with something for this challenge! Then I remembered my last trip to the Salvation Army ... just killing time waiting while a family member had an appointment. I found this pencil cup ... and although it's new to me it already has a story.

"This is the day that the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it."
Psalms 118:24

My grandmother quoted this scripture often as she shooed all us kids out the door to play outside ... (the same straight backed and stern woman who refused to sew my skirt hem before church one Sunday morning because "Every stitch you sew on Sunday you take out with your nose on Monday!" My own mom used the verse in a more gentle way ... reminding me to focus on the good parts of a bad day.

I had a literature teacher in high school who would begin each class with the exclamation, "Carpe Diem! This IS the day!" Then she would recite this verse. She would never get away with that these days (wouldn't be politically "correct") but I adored her and the excitement she brought to us each day was contagious.

Later I had a friend who signed all her notes this way (she still does 45 years later!) and it never fails to make me stop and think.

In college I had another literature teacher (so then I understood the constant reference from the first!) who obviously felt very at home in the "seize the day", "make hay while the sun shines", carpe diem theme of Horace's Odes. She spent an inordinate amount of time expounding on this period, dissecting most every word for meaning, nuance, purpose, reference, insinuation; she made it come alive for me and now I'm compelled to do the same - connecting the writer's words with his time when I read anything of a historical nature.

When I saw this cup, with its hefty $1.00 price tag, it felt like a gift. Not a day goes by now that my thoughts don't touch on those special women and times of my life when I reach for a pen - and I'm glad for each of them ... and the day..

May in My Texas

2011-06-05T03:22:00.001-05:00

May in My Texas 1, a photo by Sparky2* on Flickr.

Our family has been experiencing some major crisis and upheaval over the last few months and I apologize to my special friends who have been left hanging with no word. I'll be trying to get mail out to you asap!

Just before it "all hit the fan" I had committed to my first wedding shoot in Louisiana and I'm so glad I didn't let circumstances keep me from it; it was a huge success and Sassafras Photos is now up and running! More on that later ... but in the meantime if you're moved to do so you might check out my Sassafras blog, website & Facebook through these links:

http://sassafras-photos.blogspot.com/

http://www.wix.com/susan_kennedy/sassafras-photography

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sassafras-Photos/137596746277467?ref=ts
(my Facebook page is really new, and if I'm understanding the process correctly I have to hit 25 "likes" on it before having my own Sassafras I.D.

Things are still in a state of flux for us all at the moment, but there is more breathing room and I'm cautiously optimistic that positives are at work. My youngest daughter took over my responsibilities for the day as a lovely and much appreciated birthday present and I spent two hours of it hiking through the Texas Wildflowers around the pond - then came home for a short nap and gave myself a much needed mani/pedi! The girl gets extra stars in her crown if moms get to vote!

(Video is best viewed via the Youtube link and full screen ... the strings in this music

will grab your heart, I guarantee it!)

2011-06-03T14:15:00.000-05:00

The daisy is often described as sunny.

I did a google search for the phrase

and reached for my sunglasses at the fourteenth page,

scrolling past Facebook's "Sunny Daisy Girl"

wearing dangly earrings of ... you guessed it.

She's probably the one who sighs

and buys Sunny Bath Confetti
for the Creative Bride

and hides her dirty laundry

inside shabby chic wicker -

Sunny Daisy on the side.

Matisse, I'm sure would be dismayed

to see his work of art displayed -

betrayed upon a vinyl peva shower curtain ...

"background clear" the ultimate cut.

But.

Lest we forget ....

The daisy has a right to cry

to scream aloud and wonder why

to shake its florets at the sky

to grump and frown to pump and kick

and thrust and pound
and toss its petals to the ground

and shriek and stomp and pout and moan

and carry on

until it's done.

I'm having problems with Blogger... this post was made in March and because I've been ... "busy" ... I just discovered it lingering in limbo. Also having problems with connections and subscriptions. I now have help requests in and hope it will be fixed soon!

"Bye, Crow!"

2011-03-13T15:35:00.001-05:00

"Bye, Crow!", originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

I pointed out the Carrion Crow to Lukas (almost two) as it headed our way and he joyfully shouted a greeting ... "Hi, Crow!" followed by a less enthusiastic "Bye, Crow" seconds later. Once again the moment reminded me of this wonderful poem that I've posted before, I know ... but it's so poignant and true that it bears a repeated sharing:

.
That Woman
. ~~ by Sarah Getty

Look! A flash of orange along the river's edge--
"oriole!" comes to your lips like instinct, then
it's vanished--lost in the foliage,

in all your head holds, getting on with the day.
But not gone for good. There is that woman
walks unseen beside you with her apron

pockets full. Days later, or years, when you least
seem to need it--reading Frost on the subway,
singing over a candled cake--she'll reach

into a pocket and hand you this intact
moment--the river, the orange streak parting
the willow, and the "oriole!" that leapt

to your lips. Unnoticed, steadfast, she gathers
all this jumble, sorts it, hands it back like
prizes from Crackerjack. She is your mother,

who first said, "Look! a robin!" and pointed,
and there was a robin, because her own
mother had said to her, "Look!" and pointed,

and so on, back to the beginning: the mother,
the child, and the world. The damp bottom
on one arm and pointing with the other:

the peach tree, the small rocks in the shallows,
the moon and the man in the moon. So you keep on,
seeing, forgetting, faithfully followed;

and you yourself, unwitting, gaining weight,
have thinned to invisibility, become
that follower. Even now, your daughter

doesn't see you at her elbow as she walks
the beach. There! a gull dips to the Pacific,
and she points and says to the baby, "Look!"

Uploaded by Sparky2* on 13 Mar 11, 2.59PM CDT.

Cold Winter Day on the Pond

2011-01-30T00:15:00.002-06:00

Fishing in Winter
~~ by Ralph Burns ~~

A man staring at a small lake sees
His father cast light line out over
The willows. He's forgotten his
Father has been dead for two years
And the lake is where a blue fog
Rolls, and the sky could be, if it
Were black or blue or white,
The backdrop of all attention.

He wades out to join the father,
Following where the good strikes
Seem to lead. It's cold. The shape
Breath takes on a cold day is like
Anything else--a rise on a small lake,
The Oklahoma hills, blue scrub--
A shape already inside a shape,
Two songs, two breaths on the water.

Crimson Relief

I'm so hoping I didn't alarm this gentleman as I stalked his "color red" for a couple of miles and hours around the pond in frigid temps! This is one dedicated fisherman! Hmmmm.... guess the same could be said about the silly photographer!

***

Winter Trees
~~ by William Carlos Williams ~~

All the complicated details
of the attiring and
the disattiring are completed!
A liquid moon
moves gently among
the long branches.
Thus having prepared their buds
against a sure winter
the wise trees
stand sleeping in the cold.

My Two Teddies

2011-01-28T21:54:00.001-06:00

My Two Teddies, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

(Please click on image to see on black!)

... greet visitors at the door. The brown and gold Mister on the left was mine ... bought for me by my dad the day I was born. He's held up to the years much better than I have! The dapper fellow on the right is a Vermont Teddy Bear ... a Valentine gift from the Other Man in my life.

The framed images are mine (all children and grands) and actually the entire purpose of the shot - for a picture in picture group challenge in Flickr! But I found that I love all of the sentimental "homey" things here that - if you know me, maybe even if you don't ... tell you a little something. ;-)
And what the image doesn't tell you ... the poem to follow will. ;-)

To Chloe: Who for his sake wished herself younger
~~ William Cartwright ~~

There are two births; the one when light
First strikes the new awaken’d sense;
The other when two souls unite,
And we must count our life from thence:
When you loved me and I loved you
Then both of us were born anew.

Love then to us new souls did give
And in those souls did plant new powers;
Since when another life we live,
The breath we breathe is his, not ours:
Love makes those young whom age doth chill,
And whom he finds young keeps young still.
Uploaded by Sparky2* on 28 Jan 11, 9.00PM CST.

Love What is Mortal

2011-01-23T12:20:00.002-06:00

The rest of the family went for a long walk yesterday and I stayed behind to finish up some chores. When I next looked up I realized the sun was going down and it was getting much colder. I knew that jackets had been left at home because of the sunny, almost spring- like weather, and I worried they'd all be feeling the sudden chill. Knowing that they had probably headed for the pond I grabbed jackets and my camera and set off to find them.

They weren't at the pond ... in fact, they were back at home already -- we'd crossed paths at some point unaware ... but I did snap a couple of shots at pondside. The first in a long time. Think I'll go out today for more.

In Blackwater Woods
by Mary Oliver in "American Primative"

Look, the trees
are turning
their own bodies
into pillars

of light,
are giving off the rich
fragrance of cinnamon
and fulfillment,

the long tapers
of cattails
are bursting and floating away over
the blue shoulders

of the ponds,
and every pond,
no matter what its
name is, is

nameless now.
Every year
everything
I have ever learned

in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side

is salvation,
whose meaning
none of us will ever know.
To live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.

Uploaded by Sparky2* on 23 Jan 11, 12.07PM CST.

For My Friend

2011-01-20T06:31:00.002-06:00

Last year I reconnected with a long lost very special friend and we began the task of catching up on the ups and downs, the hurts and losses, the joys, successes and blessings that we missed in each other's lives.

Shortly after our visit my mom became ill and I was so immersed in her care and later the grieving, that many of my own life experiences sort of ... fell by the wayside, so to speak. They were put on hold in the back of my mind, I suppose, to allow me space to process the more immediate.

I'm returning now to photos and notes and thoughts ... savoring the good stuff.

Like sharing spiced chai in her lovely kitchen.

So much of this image speaks to me of her - her interests, her talents, her heart, her home - where a part of my heart is always.

Uploaded by Sparky2* on 19 Jan 11, 11.30AM CST.

Backyard as My "MacDowell"

2011-01-18T10:16:00.002-06:00

Backyard as My "MacDowell", originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

I have a friend in the Flickr community who has the most wonderful and quaint mountain cabin lodge in Wyoming ... just east of East Gate Yellowstone.

I love to visit his photo stream and dream of free, uninterrupted time in one of his cabins with the amazing vistas to inspire me much as MacDowell inspired Ms. Wetzsteon in her wonderful poem. Then I happened to see this in my own backyard ... It will do until I can get to that cabin at Elephant Head Lodge. Now if only the photo and my patient muse will hold the thoughts until there is time to string them together!

MacDowell
~ by Rachel Wetzsteon~

For once I fought back,
answering Oh yes, someday
when a restless muse asserted
This golden age needs treatment on the page.
It was the strangest lesson—
all that ink to make me think
shadows were real, this silence
when one true heart so manifestly was.
Time passed. Themes amassed;
I scoffed at amber, basked in oxygen.
Now in this little cabin
where no sightings slake my cravings
and my pen gets back its need to conjure,
on the ingots I have stored, oh pine, opine.

*****MacDowell is an artist colony.Uploaded by Sparky2* on 17 Jan 11, 12.23PM CST.

Light Sneaking In ...

2011-01-18T09:45:00.002-06:00

Light Sneaking In ..., originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

... where the drapes were closed against the coldest day in the teens. We're as unacustomed to closing drapes around here as we are to the cold. And Lukas announced "don't like it" ... he would go and stand behind the drape to look out -- left a little gap and a sunbeam found its way to this spot on the mantle. (Thanks to Cricket our candles never stay in place!)
This spot on the chair's arm was our sunbeam's first landing ... an appropriate and loving reminder of my mom. I'll explain ...

I have the pair of these two wonderful chairs; they were my mom's years ago. When she remarried and was blending households she was ready to toss them and I intervened. I remember when she bought them ... her first time to really "decorate" her home with new furniture ... she was so excited and proud of her choices - and she truly did a beautiful job. These chairs are well made and have timeless, classic lines; I've loved them long. They need to be updated with new upholstry, but I'll never tire of their form! And I'll certainly never tire of the memories they prompt when touched by an unexpected sunbeam!

Altars of Light
~~ by Pierre Joris ~~

If the light is the soul
then soul is what's
all around me.

It is you,
it is around you too,
it is you.

The darkness is inside me,
the opaqueness of organs folded
upon organs--

to make light in the house of
the body--
thus to bring the
outside in,
the impossible job.

And the only place to become
the skin
the border, the inbetween, where
dark meets light, where I meets
you.

In the house of world the
many darknesses are surrounded
by light.

To see the one, we need
the other / it cuts both ways

light on light is blind
dark on dark is blind

light through dark is not

dark through light is movement
dark through light becomes,
is becoming,
to move through
light is becoming,

is all
we can know.

Uploaded by Sparky2* on 15 Jan 11, 5.57PM CST.

He's Not Melting!!

2011-01-18T09:43:00.001-06:00

He's Not Melting!!, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

We're not used to snowmen who stick around longer than a day! It's been five days and he's not changed a bit!

Uploaded by Sparky2* on 13 Jan 10, 3.25PM CST.

First Snow

2011-01-18T08:50:00.002-06:00

First snowball ...
Fun "Ice, Ice Baby" video of our day for those inclined: www.youtube.com/watch?v=igsb1F_CZCg

First Snowball Fight!

First Snow, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

SNOWBALL
by Shel Silverstein

I made myself a snowball
As perfect as could be.
I thought I'd keep it as a pet
And let it sleep with me.

I made it some pajamas
And a pillow for its head.
Then last night it ran away,
But first- it wet the bed
Uploaded by Sparky2* on 13 Jan 11, 12.45PM CST.

Lukas has learned to vocalize his opinion lately. About everything. Food? "Blech! (spit) Ooon't like it!" or "Ummmm, liiiiike it! Toys (his own, someone else's, or ones in a store ... usually the "Like it" is expressed loudly with wide eyes, a covetous smile and grasping fingers. The snow was definitely a winner. ;-)

BTW: That's vaseline on his face! ;-)

Flying solo!!!!!

Lukas ... overdosed on fun ... can't move another step.

Zachary ... a little hot cocoa ... a few minutes by the fire ... ready to go again!

Looking around ... believing.

2011-01-18T08:46:00.002-06:00

Looking around ... believing., originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

It's so bittersweet to think back to this time last year when my mom was still with us. All the talks and laughs and hugs mixed up with the hurts and worries - and only now realizing when each turned out to be the last one. All part of the grieving process, I know ... and I'm doing it. Making sunlight where shadows were.

Looking Around, Believing
by Gary Soto

How strange that we can begin at any time.
With two feet we get down the street.
With a hand we undo the rose.
With an eye we lift up the peach tree
And hold it up to the wind — white blossoms
At our feet. Like today. I started
In the yard with my daughter,
With my wife poking at a potted geranium,
And now I am walking down the street,
Amazed that the sun is only so high,
Just over the roof, and a child
Is singing through a rolled newspaper
And a terrier is leaping like a flea
And at the bakery I pass, a palm,
Like a suctioning starfish, is pressed
To the window. We're keeping busy —
This way, that way, we're making shadows
Where sunlight was, making words
Where there was only noise in the trees.
Uploaded by Sparky2* on 11 Jan 11, 9.40AM CST.

Winter ... Yes, I've Noticed.

2011-01-17T13:47:00.002-06:00

Winter ... Yes, I've Noticed., originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

*Please click for black ... original size is surprising!

Afterwards
by Thomas Hardy

When the Present has latched its
postern behind my tremulous stay,
And the May month flaps its glad green
leaves like wings,
Delicate-filmed as new-spun silk, will the neighbours
say,
"He was a man who used to notice such things"?

If it be in the
dusk when, like an eyelid's soundless blink,
The dewfall-hawk comes crossing
the shades to alight
Upon the wind-warped upland thorn, a gazer may think,
"To him this must have been a familiar sight."

If I pass during
some nocturnal blackness, mothy and warm,
When the hedgehog travels furtively
over the lawn,
One may say, "He strove that such innocent creatures should
come to no harm,
But he could do little for them; and now he is gone."

If, when hearing that I have been stilled at last, they stand at the door,
Watching the full-starred heavens that winter sees,
Will this thought rise on those who will meet my face no more,
"He was one who had an eye for such mysteries"?

And will any say when my bell of quittance is heard in the gloom,
And a crossing breeze cuts a pause in its outrollings,
Till they rise again, as they were a new bell's boom,
"He hears it not now, but used to notice such things?"

Color anyone?

2011-01-17T13:46:00.002-06:00

Color anyone?, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

Psyching myself up for snow tomorrow! Needed a shot of sunny and color ... ;-)

Somewhere .... over the fence top ...

2011-01-17T13:45:00.002-06:00

Somewhere .... over the fence top ..., originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

Here comes the cold ...

Happy New Year - 2011!

2010-12-31T11:00:00.001-06:00

What a year it has been! A real roller coaster ride for this household. Lots of sad sprinkled with glad throughout to bring a bit of balance and tease us forward.

I've been so remiss about keeping up with my blog and I hope I can find the time to back it up and maybe do a "time capsule" of sorts for all the days I've missed. We do so much and move so fast that I need to put it down for myself or I forget too much of the good stuff! We'll see ...

I wish for you all only the very best of good things in this coming year.

...excerpt from:

The Passing Of The Year

" ....My pipe is out, my glass is dry;
My fire is almost ashes too;
But once again, before you go,
And I prepare to meet the New:
Old Year! a parting word that's true,
For we've been comrades, you and I --
I thank God for each day of you;
There! bless you now! Old Year, good-bye! "

Robert W. Service

Tutu Mania

2010-11-19T20:02:00.002-06:00

Tutu Mania, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

Today we made tutus. And outrageous hairstyles. And in between waged ferocious sword battles. Barks, shrieks, giggles, bumps, tears, chases, catches, debates, court, judgements. Bike rides. Lemonaid. Maddie's Always goodie-bag for that long, long 20 minute ride home ...

A brief "recovery" period and thirty minutes later in the midst of preparing dinner I burst into laughter at a mental image of a particular moment of the day -- Oh, wow, how I wish I'd had that one on time lapse!

Of course you will be inflicted with more pics later. Especially of the tutu events. ;-)

I did get this one pic of Kenzie against my bathroom wall -- no lights, no nuthin' special ... just wanted to play around with it for practice and fun.

Kenzie is 10 and loves the photo fuss ... but 5yr old Maddie peeled her tutu off before I could make a move for a camera (oh, the girrrrl knows me!) and was back to the sword fight. ;-)
Oh ... and note the watermark of Sassafras Photos ... More on that later. ;-)

Cousins

2010-11-19T19:52:00.002-06:00

Cousins, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

What a day ... a Ranger, a Blue-jay and a Thunder Pony...

How to Eat A Spiderman Bar 101 ...

Bye, bye, Birdie ....

2010-11-19T19:44:00.002-06:00

Bye, bye, Birdie ...., originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

FOR THE CHILDREN

The rising hills, the slopes,
of statistics
lie before us.
the steep climb
of everything, going up,
up, as we all
go down.

In the next century
or the one beyond that,
they say,
are valleys, pastures,
we can meet there in peace
if we make it.

To climb these coming crests
one word to you, to
you and your children:

stay together
learn the flowers
go light

- GARY SNYDER -

Nanatime!!

2010-11-19T19:41:00.001-06:00

Nanatime!!, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

Nana-time with two of my girls!!

Quiggly's Clayhouse ... ballgames ... then home for cupcakes, snuggled up movies and sleeping on the couch. They are so cool and so much fun ...

Near and Far

2010-11-19T15:41:00.002-06:00

NEAR ...

... and FAR ...

I know I've been away an eternity ...

... such a busy summer and now it's already well into fall. It's safe to say that I probably immersed myself completely in too many "doins'" in order to not allow myself time for thinking and feeling the loss of my mom in February.

I believe in some ways it helped and in others only postponed the inevetable. Summer being such a "kidfull" time around here left me some space - some distance - with little time for dwelling or processing and I took advantage.

Now I'm back to up close and personal; I've just looked "Mom Time" of Thanksgiving and Christmas in the face -- and as my heroine
Junie B. Jones would say ...

"... I did a gulp."
I'll post a few "event markers" from my time away for myself - as well as for curious concerned and caring friends. (Thank you!) I'm thinking of it as good therapy ... to remind myself that life did continue and it has been good. I'm finding that up close life is just as beautiful if it has a lovely background behind it and a Mom who raised you to see it that way.

"... from blossom to blossom to sweet impossible blossom"

2010-06-07T11:02:00.001-05:00

View Large On Black

[Excerpt from "Blossoms"]

There are days we live
as if death were nowhere
in the background; from joy
to joy to joy, from wing to wing,
from blossom to blossom to
impossible blossom, to sweet impossible blossom.

by Li-Young Lee

Well, I did survive another marker without my mom - my birthday last week. And as the poem says, I did it by flying headlong from one joy to the next and drinking as deeply from each one as I could. Memorial Day weekend visits from family members, cookouts and making homeade ice cream, graduations (from our kindergarten Maddie to our high school senior neighbor, Maddi!) - sports events for each of four grands ---

The rush of life continues to catch me in its wake and it pulls me forward when I let it ... if I don't overthink the moments. That hole of dark sadness is deep, but God placed me in a lovely place and surrounded me with beautiful, sweet children .. and when they tempt me out I know that is the way He planned it and Mom would want it. What an amazing thing - this human spirit - what wonderful gifts of grace our creator gave us to help us heal! I see it in nature at every turn.

This is the butterfly bush that nearly fried to a crisp a couple of years ago when I first planted it at about 1.5 ft tall! Everyone thought it was truly gone ... so dry, brittle and burnt it was. Instead I attacked it with a small pair of snips -- two solid hours of cutting away each branch and twig until I saw "green". And the healing began! That first blooming was such a thrill for me to see ... and it's been a constant delight to me in every season.

I was "out of commission" this fall when it should have been cut back ... and as you can see it's now taking over the entire corner of the yard (which is fine, because otherwise it's just a wasted slope!).

And now it's giving me hours of entertainment between the bees, butterflies, dragonflies feasting there. And I'm still trying to get a shot of the amazing site of the brilliant cardinals or jays that perch there at times. And ohhhh, the fragrance! Wish I could bottle the combination of sage, butterfly bush and honeysuckle in my yard at the moment - and save it for a cold winter day!

I had originally planned a pond for this corner with seating around it ... but now I can't bear to lose the bush!

View Large On Black

View Large On Black

I'm so loving this poem ... it seems to fit me these days as I lift out of grief and look around to find that I have moved forward -- I've walked sometimes with a bounce in my step; I've looked and actually seen - and touched and smelled -- and lived.

Looking Around, Believing
by Gary Soto

How strange that we can begin at any time.
With two feet we get down the street.
With a hand we undo the rose.
With an eye we lift up the peach tree
And hold it up to the wind — white blossoms
At our feet. Like today. I started
In the yard with my daughter,
With my wife poking at a potted geranium,
And now I am walking down the street,
Amazed that the sun is only so high,
Just over the roof, and a child
Is singing through a rolled newspaper
And a terrier is leaping like a flea
And at the bakery I pass, a palm,
Like a suctioning starfish, is pressed
To the window. We're keeping busy —
This way, that way, we're making shadows
Where sunlight was, making words
Where there was only noise in the trees.

Time Enough

2010-05-21T18:18:00.002-05:00

View Large On Black

I wonder how she does it? How she manages to live such an exquisite life in so little time? I have so much "stuff" undone and unaddressed at the end of my days! Well, most days anyhow.

Lately I've noticed that my hours seem to shrink and stretch according to the purpose I put in them. If I have three small chores on my list it seems to take me the entire day to do them ... yet if I have fifteen life-or-death chores and situations that must be attended to within the same twenty-four hour time frame I'll have almost the exact amount of "left-overs" at the end of the day. Go figure!!

I suppose a lot of my "frayed ends" have to do with the time of the year. So much crammed into this in-between season! Summer sports and practices have already begun ... kids are exhausted from a full day of school and being rushed off to baseball and/or football. Weekend errands, yardwork and family time are all squished in among games (we have four this Saturday!) Teachers, kids and parents (and grandparents) are all tired and grumpy ... counting grades and counting minutes until that last program - that final dismissal bell that promises lazier days ahead.

And I'm really missing Mom through all of this season. She was my lifeline to sanity -- gently helping me balance my overfull cup when it threatened to spill into a mess. She would calmly listen to me rant without judgement and somehow without saying much at all would bring me back around full circle to a full-blown sense of "grateful" for it all!
Yet even more than the moral support I find myself missing the joy in her voice when I would call her with happy news; it made it somehow more real and fulfilling and I still catch myself reaching for the phone. Every day seems to be yet another of many firsts yet to live through without her ... Mother's Day ... my birthday next week .... So even when school is out the hard work of learning life goes on.

"The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough."

~Rabindranath Tagore

Like the child saw ...

2010-05-16T12:39:00.001-05:00

View Large On Black

The Happy Child
~ by William Henry Davies

I saw this day sweet flowers grow thick --
But not one like the child did pick.

I heard the packhounds in green park --
But no dog like the child heard bark.

I heard this day bird after bird --
But not one like the child has heard.

A hundred butterflies saw I --
But not one like the child saw fly.

I saw the horses roll in grass --
But no horse like the child saw pass.

My world this day has lovely been --
But not like what the child has seen.

"Every child is born a naturalist. His eyes are, by nature, open to the glories of the stars, the beauty of the flowers, and the mystery of life. "

Professor Search

Flowers and sunlight to greet me this morning ...

2010-04-21T11:14:00.001-05:00

My "little" brother brought me both with his short but sweet visit on Monday evening! What a boost!

Nicer to View Large On Black

The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.
~
Thich Nhat Hanh ~

Reverberating Peace ...

2010-03-18T19:59:00.002-05:00

Best to View Large On Black

PEACE I GIVE UNTO YOU

Peace:
The remembrance of
the potential of the universe
before the Holy One created it–
the harmony of opposites,
the awareness of the void.
I recreate this original peace in you
with my presence.
I release this peace by my
constant inner forgiveness and letting go.
I surround you with this peace,
and you feel a fire of love kindled in
your hearts.

The thing-world–the universe of
levels, planes, particles, and separation–
cannot give peace the way I do.
Diversity gives the gift of
forms fulfilling their purpose
then passing away:
a peace of separation.
I give peace with the awareness of
the whole story of sacred unity,
an ongoing creation
moving ahead of, with, and behind us
like a caravan.
Let your heartbeat
carry this remembrance.
When you feel this peace,
the center of your passion
can never be forced or limited,
neither inflated nor deflated.
You cannot be carried away by fear
nor hemmed in by grief.
You are always coming to standing
at the beginning,
reverberating peace
around you
without limit.

- NEIL DOUGLAS KLOTZ -

Hi, Mom ... I love you.

2010-03-10T09:41:00.001-06:00

Sorry to be so long between postings, but I'm sure you'll understand ...

((( hugs to you, Liz )))

Two days after Christmas my mother was admitted to the hospital with severe abdominal pain which was thought at first to be the recurrence of ulcers. After ten days of "hospital shuffle" and testing she was diagnosed with stage three pancreatic cancer. Surgery removed all but a stubborn 1% left behind and clinging to an aortic vessel.

I stayed with her in her hospital room every day/night except nights in ICU - when I would drive the hour back from Shreveport to Ruston - and if I couldn't be there my wonderful brothers were.

Between the hurtings were some good times for talks ... laughs even. A few times she had to tell me, "Stop making me laugh; I'll burst the proverbial stitch!"

Together we mourned the Cowboys' elimination from the Super Bowl and then celebrated the Saints win with the nursing staff; we agreed on our choice for the new Miss America and pouted together when she didn't win. We hooted over "What Not to Wear"; she beat me at every turn of Jeopardy and "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" and after one HGTV episode she completely redesigned her bathroom and was hoping for my son-in-law Richie to put in new tile. We visited with family via "Skype" on the little netbook we had recently purchased together and she finally was able to "meet" 3 mo great-granddaughter, Lena, see the squiggling 9mo old Lukas and admire his new toofs, giggles and songs from Kenzie, Zach & Madi ... shy smiles from Trey. After one call she told the nurses that she had the most beautiful granddaughters ... "they just couldn't get any prettier!", she testified.

She loved my large red apple on the windowsill "such a pretty spot of color in this dull place". I couldn't bring myself to eat it and took it with us to the next room ... and the next.

Finally, after more than six weeks in the hospital we returned home for her post surgery recovery and to begin a "wellness" regime to prepare her for upcoming treatments. While I had been studying and taking notes in the hospital I learned much more "hands on" about cleaning drainage tubes and changing dressings and medication/meal schedules/testing/injections - because of the complications wrt to her diabetic condition. I also learned how it could be necessary to be aggressive - even downright fierce with insurance companies when vital meds were denied, with medical admin when appointments were "unavailable" or needed test results were missing from a file, etc., etc.
Most of all I learned to be humble and amazed and proud as I watched my sweet mom fight pain to the point of physical and emotional exhaustion. I saw this modest, little woman endure countless and repeated indignities of her illness - with more concern toward her caregivers than to herself and always with a "thank you" and even a joke if she was able.

After we established a workable routine of shared care between family and home health I was persuaded to return home for a brief rest and visit with my own family. I created a large tabbed binder and filled it with every iota of info regarding "the care and feeding of a Dottie" as she joked. I went shopping: baby monitors, portable extension phone, a large whiteboard to note contacts, apts & schedules, fave easy-prep foods & snacks to entice her to eat. I wracked my brain trying to think of every little thing that must/should/could be done to ease her days, offer some security - and I know that really what I was doing was in effort to postpone my leave taking.

Ice and snow were in the weather forecast and the push was on for me to get on the road and home safely. I prepared lunch for mom and my step dad, Baker, and loaded the car. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, this goodbye - that turned out to be my last to my mom. But what an exquisite hug ... it said so much between us and I feel it even now. If not for the worries wrt family situations at home I simply could not have torn myself away. I think she knew and feared ... and yet she still insisted I go.

The promised snow came in a big way ... such a rare event for us in this part of Texas - even knocked out our power for nearly two days. The week was filled to overflowing with family "stuffs" ... sledding & snowmen, Valentine-making, catching up on bills, grocery shopping, housework -- and of course my daily talks with mom.

The evening of the 15th we talked for over an hour ... she sounded a little tired, but more animated and "her old self" as she recounted the special Valentine box she got in the mail - cookies and artwork from my daughter, Kelly and her great grands, McKenzie, Madison & Trey. She was so pleased and was glad she had seen them via the "Skype chats" so that she could picture them better in her mind as they were right then and was plotting to use it to view my niece's upcoming wedding together and having our own "reception" along with them in their honor. I heard a wistfulness in her voice that alarmed me and asked her if she was ok - if she wanted me to come back in the morning ...
... "I can and I will", I told her. She insisted no, no. She wanted me to wait for Madi's 6th birthday on Sunday ... come back on Monday. So it was decided - "Monday, then, but only if you'll promise to call me if you change your mind and need me sooner."

We talked until 9:30 p.m. ... at 11:50 p.m. we were awakened by my ringing cell phone. Few people have my cell number or would call at this hour; it was my sweet brother, Greg, bless his broken heart to whom fell the task of confirming what I already knew.
Instantly, in my mind's eye I saw her ... as this way ... the last photo taken with my brother's cell phone.

We were in a waiting room at LSUS Oncology. She wore a soft, grey velour jogging suit and I commented to her that she looked too beautiful to be sick ... my brother agreed and she smiled and graciously accepted her children's adoration.
No goodbyes for me. Just "Hi, Mom, I love you" in every rainbow, new buds, sounds of a laughing child, with every Maltese puppy I see, with every crowning of a new Miss America and every red apple.

2009-11-28T10:42:00.000-06:00

I love, love this group around our table! Our son,Shea, his Kim and baby Lena were sorely missed and we're praying for a safe journey as they travel back home again from their visit to Kim's family ... We didn't make it "home" this year to be with the extended family - but our thoughts were with them just the same.

God Bless you all -- I hope your day was a happy, love-filled one!

I wrote this poem years ago - but it's where my mind and my heart go every year without fail ...

Pilgrims

We make our journey home
each year to pick clean
the Thanksgiving turkey
and rattle family bones.

We know our roles
play them well,
regress or stretch and swell to fit
our place at table,
our spot in photographs,
our corner.

I wander about the overflowing house
to an empty room and a seat by the window.
Voices fade, the moment surreal,
I strain to see and feel
the ghosts that swirl among
the bronzed leaves of autumns past.

They're all here.
They come to me, chilled
I will them to stay
warm themselves by the fire
that burns in the heart of a family.

Copyright ©2000 Susan M. Kennedy

He also liked the peas ... the mashed potoes -- NOT so much! ;-)

Best to View Large On Black

My mother's dressing and applesauce cake recipies on one page - my mother-in-law's Asparagus Casserole on the other ... I watched tv as I cooked and baked into the wee hours - but as I recall, back when my mom was preparing Thanksgiving dinner for the hoards tv programming ended for the night at around 11:00 p.m. - with the National Anthem, the Lord's Prayer and a stern voice saying, "The time is now 11:00 o'clock p.m.; do you know where YOUR children are?"

Just got me thinkin' ....

2009-11-11T12:58:00.001-06:00

They shall grow not old
As we that are left grow old
Age shall not weary them
Nor the years condemn
At the going down of the sun.
And in the morning
We shall remember them.

~ By Laurence Binyon ~

Yesterday was the Marine Corps Birthday & 7 yr old Zachary had to try on Grandpa's gear and see his dress whites ... one more time! He plans to be a Marine Officer like Grandpa when he grows into this hat.

This is dedicated to Zachary's Grandpa, NavyMan Papa Baker, to cousin Gary killed in Iraq and to all the Veterans of this great nation. Thank you.

View Large On Black

Autumn on Fire

2009-11-04T20:47:00.001-06:00

Autumn on Fire, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

Autumn on Fire
Best to view full screen ...

I always get so sentimental at this - my favorite - time of year. Enjoy this "fireworks" show to Dr. John's mellow "In A Sentimental Mood" ... :-)

I think my neighbors are finally getting used to seeing me pressed up against their back fence with my camera pointed up into the overhanging branches of their beautiful trees! Bless 'em! ;-)

Why I've Been Away So Long ...

2009-10-30T10:58:00.000-05:00

:-) A new grandheart makes six for us now!

She's beautiful and sweet and we're all in love. She was "scheduled" for caesarian arrival on Oct. 27th, but it seems our lovely Lena is a woman with a mind of her own; she took us by surprise and decided the 22nd would be her birthday! We're just tickled pink that she's here with us! Both Lena and Mom are fantastic ... more pics later (duh!) ;-)

So .... please forgive me for not visiting you all in a while! I'll be back up to speed again soon ... see you then! Hope you're enjoying the beautiful autumn!

A Day in the Sun ...

2009-10-07T01:46:00.001-05:00

Better to View Large On Black

We had an unexpected window of opportunity open up for a short and impromptu visit to my Mom. Finally, we introduced Lukas to his Louisiana family - just before he was six months old!

A single day of sun between many days of rain - how lucky to be with family that I don't see often enough -- in this special place -- and on a walk with their four dogs, a goose and a duck!
My brother has my dream place ... out in the country with a pond, pine trees, lots of critters and foliage and sunsets - photo ops everywhere you look without leaving your own back yard!
Here my sis-in-law is examining the Imperial Moth caterpillar that we found ... (more on that later!)

This is my sis-in-law's neighbor - her brother. Her other neighbor? Her other brother!

Callie, my beautiful niece, introduces "Duck" to Shannon and Zachary.

Meet Sydney - the cutest miniature English Bulldog ever ... and most unusual for a bulldog - she loves the water - just look at that grin!

Duck and Goose are constant companions ...

Farewell Sweet Summer

2009-09-30T23:51:00.001-05:00

Farewell Sweet Summer, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

View Large On Black

The last of summer's wildflowers ...

Warm Summer Sun
by Mark Twain

Warm summer sun,
Shine kindly here,
Warm southern wind,
Blow softly here.
Green sod above,
Lie light, lie light.
Good night, dear heart,
Good night, good night.

Traveling along the contours of leaves that have no name ...

2009-09-30T23:39:00.001-05:00

Traveling along the contours of leaves that have no name ..., originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

View Large On Black

I finally made it to "my pond" ... spent several hours lost in the world of leaves, birdcalls, spiderwebs, lily pads & dragonflies. As I made my way around the huge territory I left bits of myself - a little angst stomped into the mud at the edge of the pond ... a few hopes and dreams sent drifting across the water. I sent prayers and worries scampering high up into the trees I love so much, washed my hands of disappointment and anger in the quickly moving creek - sent it dashing among the rocks and far away.

Finally it was time to head for home ... and I was amazed at how much lighter I felt without the load I carried when I arrived ... truly I am living at the edge of a new leaf.

The Shapes of Leaves
by Arthur Sze

Ginkgo, cottonwood, pin oak, sweet gum, tulip tree:
our emotions resemble leaves and alive
to their shapes we are nourished.

Have you felt the expanse and contours of grief
along the edges of a big Norway maple?
Have you winced at the orange flare

searing the curves of a curling dogwood?
I have seen from the air logged islands,
each with a network of branching gravel roads,

and felt a moment of pure anger, aspen gold.
I have seen sandhill cranes moving in an open field,
a single white whooping crane in the flock.

And I have traveled along the contours
of leaves that have no name. Here
where the air is wet and the light is cool,

I feel what others are thinking and do not speak,
I know pleasure in the veins of a sugar maple,
I am living at the edge of a new leaf.

Confounded

2009-09-22T00:12:00.000-05:00

Confounded

Here I sit, reaching deep into far quarters
for words to bring you something different,
but at the same time recognizable-
a welcome reason to the indeterminate ...
something more than a tossed about phrase
that insists to you
the welcome prettiness
of starlings on snow.

© 2008 by Susan M. Kennedy. All Rights Reserved.

So much "stuff" swirling about at the moment. I wish I could clone about 10 me's so that each area of my life could receive proper attention. I'm seriously craving some creative space ... !!!

Instructions for living a life:

2009-09-18T17:02:00.001-05:00

... " 4.

Instructions for living a life:
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it.

~ from Mary Oliver's "Sometimes" - found in "Red Bird".

40+ years ago I lost touch with my Best Friend in the entire world. Both being military wives we'd made numerous moves across country - both of our fathers had passed away and our mothers each had new married names ... so conventional searching methods were fruitless. About a month ago I was thrilled to finally find my friend - and especially so to find that she was less than two hours away from where I live!

After several weeks of daily writing/chats we finally met again last weekend - and it was as if not a single day had passed between us. :-) We've written an article together about our experience and whether or not we have success in publication ... it was fun and rewarding to collaborate with my friend. Rest assured - we will NEVER lose touch again! :-)

Jewel

2009-09-15T08:58:00.001-05:00

Jewel, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

.... of a moment. View Large On Black

One that makes you gasp and wonder ... and believe. I've had so many of those personal "jewel" moments over the last couple of weeks. From an extreme euphoric and personal high - to a blinking back tears sad - to a gut-wrenching fear-for-those- you- love.

Translation: I've found my Best Friend after 40 years of searching .... and she's not far away! We're writing an article together and preparing to meet ...

A Flickr friend that I love is in trouble ... what to do? Something... something... working on it ...

A horrible traffic accident ... a step-niece ... she's lying in a hospital close to me ... all I know so far is seven hours of surgery and then ...?

Add to the emotional mix four days of strep - fevers and hacking and pills and sneezing, soup and tissues and ... yuk. Today has been the turning point and I think I'm back from the dead.

Flower Song

2009-08-28T14:48:00.000-05:00

View Large On Black

I watched the waterfall.
Listened --
to the water
fall.
I saw the bright hibiscus,
the tiger lily
just beyond --
and heard their song.

Susan M. Kennedy

View Large On Black

At the Arboretum last week, one of the features that had me mesmerized was a contemporary styled waterfall ... very elegant and simple. The water fell from two stories high in sheets behind which were beautiful plantings to glimpse beyond and through ...

I mean seriously ... when you think of all the natural elements that conspired to create this amazing visual symphony - water - reflecting the sky and the sun, shimmering in front of flowers and ferns, kissed by the wind ... ???

Mary Oliver said it much better than I ever could - what I was feeling and thinking ... as I listened. I have a feeling that had I been able to stay, I would be one of those listening still.

There Is a Place Beyond Ambition

When the flute players
couldn't think of what to say next

they laid down their pipes,
then they lay down themselves
beside the river

and just listened.
Some of them, after a while,
jumped up
and disappeared back inside the busy town.
But the rest --
so quiet, not even thoughtful --
are still there,

still listening.

~ by Mary Oliver, from "Red Bird"

Unbelievable

2009-08-23T14:35:00.000-05:00

Please watch this video and take a stand!!

Koi and Children ... Poetry in Motion

2009-08-20T15:16:00.001-05:00

Koi and Children ... Poetry in Motion, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

View Large On Black

The koi pond at the arboretum was one of the most popular stops for the kids - and one of the last. It was such a delight to see their hot, wilted little bodies become suddenly animated and refreshed ... The koi put on a pretty show for them - leaping over one another for the dragonflies who dared to come too close, slapping tails against the water and chasing minnows that we could see just beneath the surface....

They took in every iota - and I heard questions and comments about their colors, the designs on their backs, their funny eyes and mouths, how they moved. I watched a 9yo neighbor boy we'd brought along lie on his tummy on the rocks, chin in hand and heard him whisper "You're so pretty ... I wish you could be free ..."

excerpt from "Koi"
~ by John Burnside~

All afternoon we've wandered from the pool
to alpine beds and roses
and the freshly
painted
palm house
all afternoon
we've come back to this shoal
of living fish.
Crimson and black
pearl-white
or touched with gold
the koi hang in a world of their invention
with nothing that feels like home - a
concrete pool
and unfamiliar plants spotted with light
birdsong and traffic
pollen and motes of
dust
and every time the veil above their heads shivers into noise
they dart
and scatter
though it seems more ritual now
than lifelike fear
as if they understood
in principle
but could not wholly grasp
the vividness of loss

The Dallas Arboretum Tradition - 2009 Highlights!

2009-08-14T18:47:00.000-05:00

Visiting the Dallas Arboretum has become a tradition for the women and children of our family. The last couple of years my daughters have given me a season's pass for birthday or Mother's Day - and I love it - wish I could go more often! This year they had something special ... fourteen juried playhouses based on storybooks and they are awesome, interactive art structures. If you're in the area I highly recommend it! http://www.dallasarboretum.org/

This was probably
the biggest hit:

Peter Pan's Jolly Roger

Here we have:

Alice in Wonderland, The Teremok, The Owl & the Pussycat and Hansel & Gretel.

The heat and humidity were excruciating - so we took a break for waterplay at the Frog Fountains ... always a huge favorite!
Then time for a picnic in the shade of glorious pecan trees - filled with nut-throwing squirrels and bees a-plenty!

After a little rest we were ready for more:

Treasure Island, City Green, Thumblina, The Little Prince and James & the Giant Peach

Of course, in between were stunning flowers (hibiscus as big as dinner plates!) trees, fountains - the photo ops are outrageous here - but this visit was mainly to enjoy the kids. (I'll go again soon, believe me, because I really missed the Women's Garden, the Fern Dell, the Reflecting Pools, etc!)

While I was standing among the giant hibiscus I heard Trey yelling for me - beside himself with excitement ... seems he had discovered the koi ponds! He grabbed my hand and pulled me (he's faster than me!) to the water's edge and looked so deeply I just knew he was about to fall in ... :-) All the kids loved the beautiful koi and turtles and they did put on a nice show for them - leaping and splashing in all their glorious color!

The day was coming to a close - energy was flagging in bodies tall and small and we snapped a few more memory shots and headed for home ... :-)

A big day for firsts - Applesauce and the Arboretum....

2009-08-13T22:00:00.000-05:00

What a trooper ... braved excruciating heat and humidity for nature and the arts. Thing is - we're all weak little worn out puddles from the day .... and he's still going strong - bouncing like Tigger at the moment in his jumper!!

Graced with the ordinary ...

2009-08-10T09:38:00.001-05:00

Graced with the ordinary ..., originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

" ... Let the world
have its way with you,
luminous as it is

with mystery
and pain--
graced as it is
with the ordinary."

~ by Mary Oliver, excerpt "Summer Morning" from "Red Bird"

View Large On Black

Oh, this weekend was a working weekend entirely ... we've had so much rain that the yardwork was overwhelming. I normally love yardwork ... or I guess in comparison to yesterday I suppose I should correct that to "I love to yard "putter".

The grass was tall and thick - the weeds were about to take us over - and there was lots of trimming and deadheading to be done. We also had to put the swing back together after the storms' strong winds blew it apart. The canopy is ripped - but I have a crafty plan for repairing it (hope it works!)

Buddy and I were creaking and groaning in unison ... and reaching for the Tylenol! When we finally put all the tools away and came inside we blinked in surprise at the time and thought "dinner?" Did I mention the wonderful little hamburger place around the corner - that delivers!!? ;-)

But the yard looks lovely again - had my morning coffee on the patio listening to the happy gurgling fountain and watching the birds and enjoying the roses. Then a few minutes later Lukas joined me for his morning cereal - and I listened to the gurgling of a happy baby and watched his tiny little rosebud mouth stretch up and open like a little bird's - eager for his breakfast! ;-)

Truly - there is luminous life in the ordinary.

At the Kimball

2009-08-06T15:36:00.001-05:00

At the Kimball, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

Zach and friend, Donavan, at the Kimball Art Museum today.

View Large On Black

Phillip Haas Film Installations at the Kimble Art Musuem

2009-08-06T15:33:00.001-05:00

Phillip Haas Film Installations at the Kimble Art Musuem, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

This was one of my favorites of the Philip Haas Film Installations (from Apollo and the Continents). You simply have to "experience" this to understand the profound effect it has! Each wall - as well as the ceiling (one wall as seen here is mirror) is larger than life murals - with a catch... the murals are alive - they blink, turn their heads slightly - so you actually feel as though you are the unwitting observers of "the Gods" as they go about their lives - as if they may see you at any moment. To see more (and better) images and for more info check out this link!
www.kimbellart.org/haas/#

Here is the blurb from the Kimble promo pamphlet:

Commissioned by the Kimbell, Philip Haas’s film installations interpret and elaborate upon selected works in the Museum’s permanent collection. Though based on deep research into the original artists and cultures, Haas’s films are poetic and sensuous in approach rather than factual like a documentary. Between seven and twenty minutes in length and running continuously, they are projected on screens of various unconventional formats and configurations. All are accompanied by original music, and several appear in elaborate architectural and sculptural sets, further immersing the viewer in the experience.

2009-08-06T15:27:00.001-05:00

Phillip Haas, "Apollo and the Continents" at the Kimble Art Museum, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

2009-08-06T15:21:00.001-05:00

This one, from Arhat Taming the Dragon was so beautiful - the colors and textures so rich they just reach into you! I wish I had captured some of the more vivid colors on the screen ...

"Skeletons Warming Themselves" was powerful and startling ... so eerie ... like stepping into an all-too-real nightmare. We didn't stay long for that one because of the little guys (too intense) didn't get pics but I would have if on my own. In this one you see the same image from four perspectives at once (on each wall around you). The richness was mindboggling!

Invitation

2009-08-04T08:31:00.001-05:00

Invitation, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

This little fellow was peering in my kitchen window as though inviting me to come out into the day ... :-) Just when I'm feeling most "blah" or my mind is set on "overdrive" and my body on "mechanical" God sends something my way.

I had just been to Barnes & Noble last week and picked up a Mary Oliver book to send to a friend in China -
(and came out with a copy of Red Bird for myself as well, doncha know?) ;-)

- so this poem was still percolating at the back of my mind and when I saw the little face and bright eyes ... heard the chipping song ... it all came together ...

Invitation

Oh, do you have time
to linger
for just a little while
out of your busy

and very important day
for the goldfinches
that have gathered
in a field of thistles

for a musical battle,
to see who can sing
the highest note,
or the lowest,

or the most expressive of mirth,
or the most tender?
Their strong, blunt beaks
drink the air

as they strive
melodiously
not for your sake
and not for mine

and not for the sake of winning
but for sheer delight and gratitude --
believe us, they say,
it is a serious thing

just to be alive
on this fresh morning
in this broken world.
I beg of you,

Do not walk by
without pausing
to attend to this
rather ridiculous performance.

It could mean something.
It could mean everything.
It could be what Rilke meant, when he wrote:
You must change your life.

~~ Mary Oliver, from "Red Bird"

I feel fine about this!!

2009-07-28T06:12:00.001-05:00

... and I feel fine about this!!, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

Woohoo!! I"m happy and proud to be included in this amazing new book - my image (a self portrait) and quote will be one of many in this important social work. Below are a few excerpts from the final email I recieved ...

"Dear Susan,

I realize it has been some time since you last heard from us; we have been very busy finalizing the We Feel Fine book and have some great news to share with you. Your image (below) has been selected to appear in the published edition. Thank you so much for your contribution and congratulations!

My name is Sep Kamvar and I am one of the co-authors of the book (Jonathan Harris, whom I have cc'd here, is the other co-author). I wanted to take this time to give you some more information about the book, and also let you know about next steps. Please make sure to read the Next Steps section of this e-mail because there still might be some things that we need from you."

... (detail info) ..

"So, here we go...

Book
Information:

The book, titled We Feel Fine: an Almanac of Human Emotion, is currently scheduled to be released on December 1st. Our publisher is Scribner, which is a division of Simon & Schuster.

I've attached the book cover as well as the page where your photo appears. We are very pleased with how your photo fits into the book and hope that you agree. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns.""

This is the image that will be used ...

It's a self-portrait that I did to accompany a post in Flickr here when I was "tagged" for one of those "getting to know you" games (list 16 things about you that most people don't know".)

The quote they will use with it was,
"I'm 56, but in my head and my heart I feel 32 ..."

Isn't that fun?!

No, I don't get paid, but it is fun to be a blip in a book that is being talked about as "the conversation book of the century"! I'll be listed as "a contributor" - complete with headshot, home town and blog info. And of course, I was invited to the publishing party, etc. (if I happen to be in New York at the time.) Ha!

It's a such an interesting project, these tiny life stories/works of art - and I just saw the most amazing talk by Jonathan Harris (one of the authors)
www.ted.com/talks/jonathan_harris_collects_stories.html
which includes this project and others ... wow! I highly recommend it - fascinating to say the least!!!

2009-07-27T18:14:00.000-05:00

On Saturday we made a family trip to Firewheel Mall ...

a wonderfully, quaint "outdoor" mall designed around the concept of the old style "town square". They have fountains, a "creek",
a playground, shaded patio style dining tables and beautiful plantings everywhere. I think I'm actually "allergic" to indoor malls. I'm not what you'd call a shopper ... I almost always have a specific place and purpose in mind and detest having to waste time and energy slogging the length of twelve football fields to get to it! When I can simply park in front of the specific store and get my business done I'm a happy camper - especially if that leaves me enough time to stroll around lovely grounds and window shop at my leisure.

This trip included both daughters, the five little ones, the Budman and me ... and the first stop was a "visit" to their friends at Build-A-Bear. There was hilarity at every turn it seemed, especially as most of the accessories tested were found to be Luke-sized!

Then we stopped at a visiting vendor station - Incan Indians playing the most wonderful music from their handcrafted instruments - lovely flutes and other wind instruments of all styles and other beautiful instruments and jewelry as well.

Each kid was allowed to choose one little something special.

Kenzie chose the lovely shell necklace (looks so beautiful on her!) Trey selected a wooden flute and Zachary the clay flute (ocarina) on a leather strap. Madison preferred to choose something later from Sweet & Sassy (such a girlie-girl!)

I took pics of the artists (Inka Wayra) as they played which pleased them and I think they'll be happy with the photos that I'm emailing to them.

The "mall police" however, weren't too happy with my photo-taking! One little lady on a Seguay scooter came over - said that she was sent by management to check me out and inform me that photos weren't allowed except for family - absolutely NONE of the architecture. I showed her a bit of what was on my cam (family, flowers and the vendors - with their prior permission) and she reluctantly agreed to let me continue ... but I had the feeling she had her eye on me!! ;-)

The kids couldn't stay away from the rocky creek area for long and soon we found ourselves there -

They splashed and climbed and we got some great impromptu family shots and some fun candids to remember the day.

By then everyone was ready for a treat so the next stop was the Nestle's Tollhouse Cookie Shop which has awesome icecreams as well.

I opted for a cherry slushy - perfect for a hot day - the first I've had in ages ( I'm craving one again right now)!

The guys in the party were ready to head for home, but we made one more stop for the girls - the Sweet n' Sassy Shop - for only the girliest of girls, I tell ya ... fun!

When some folks talk of "going to the mall" - it's to shop. We, however, came away with most of our money still in our pockets - and richer still for the photos and memories of family fun.

2009-07-23T22:07:00.000-05:00

Learn the flowers ... go light.

FOR THE CHILDREN

The rising hills, the slopes,

of statistics

lie before us.

the steep climb

of everything, going up,

up, as we all

go down.

In the next century

or the one beyond that,

they say,

are valleys, pastures,

we can meet there in peace

if we make it.

To climb these coming crests

one word to you, to

you and your children:

stay together

learn the flowers

go light

- GARY SNYDER -

2009-07-23T00:17:00.000-05:00

Pink Flip-Flops ...

View Large On Black

Below is quite possibly my most very favorite poem ... It comes to me - full and rich - in the oddest of moments.

This time I had slogged through the mud of the recently tree-cleared and re-seeded side yard after a thorough watering - wearing these - my "at the ready, by the back door" flip flops. A puddle had collected in a dip in the driveway (our Texas foundations are want to rise and fall) and I happily used it to splash away the mud from my toes and left the sandals floating - to soak away the rest of the muck.

There - standing in the sunwarmed puddle - in the beautiful light at the dimming of the day - still a little damp from dodging the sprinklers to follow a monarch butterfly around the yard - I thought to myself "This day has become a presence to me."

Granted - I had no great charge to answer for this particular day other than preparing meals and doing for my family - but once again I was awakened - to do it with a whole self and a full heart.

- VARIATION ON A THEME BY RILKE -(The Book of Hours, Book I, Poem 1, Stanza 1)

A certain day became a presence to me;
there it was, confronting me — a sky, air, light:
a being. And before it started to descend
from the height of noon, it leaned over
and struck my shoulder as if with
the flat of a sword, granting me
honor and a task. The day’s blow
rang out, metallic — or it was I, a bell awakened,
and what I heard was my whole self
saying and singing what it knew: I can.

- DENISE LEVERTOV -

2009-07-19T13:00:00.000-05:00

The #1 Sign of Summer!

I love how they package these popsicles ... in a mesh bag - they look amazing! Can't freeze them fast enough to keep up around here!

Popsicles have always been such a huge part of summer my whole life ...
I remember the days when we made our own popsicles ... Mom would freeze Koolaid in icecube trays. It was a huge revolutionary "event" the day that Tupperware introduced the plastic popsicle molds! We'd check the freezer every ten minutes to see if they were ready yet! Now I'm addicted to the frozen fruit bars - in particular the "real fruit" (strawberry) Yummmm ....

In blog talking with my artist friend, Liz, (about how she renders walnut ink for use in her amazing art!) I was reminded of my childhood when we pounded mimosa blossoms to render our own "paint" (which we then used to create our "art" on the driveway and tattoos on our bodies - yikes!) That in turn reminded me of this poem I wrote a few years ago - which oddly enough happens to speak of both popsicles and mimosa juice memories in celebration of summer and childhood - and holding onto what we can of it all ...

Stains of Summer

I put on quite a show in my garden today...
heated beyond all sensibility I throw down my tools
and sprint through the sprinkler mist.
Grass and soil cling to my toes,
mascara runs unchecked
down sunburned cheeks puffed wide in a comic grin -
as the water cools hot skin,
washes me clean of the day's sweat and red clay.
Shimmering rainbows of wet
glisten on grateful hot and weary muscle,
and my bones listen to remembered whispers
of younger days in the sun...

I was an abstract --
lively, living-child art.
Purple popsicle drips on brown bare legs
grass greened knees,
tattoos drawn in mimosa ink,
blackberry juice dribbled on cheek and chin -
summer stains worn with pride
scrubbed away in a glide
down a long, long runway
of dayglow orange slip-n-slide -
or bleached away in chlorined pools
to the point of sun weary, wrinkled,
red-eyed bliss....

or simply left to fade with the day.

A neighbor happens by;
her horn honk blasts me from my reverie-
I tip my soggy garden hat in salute
and paint my smile with purple popscicle.

Copyright ©2005 Susan M. Kennedy

Brothers

2009-07-14T16:08:00.001-05:00

Brothers, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

This was our first "shoot" - and we had such a blast doing it. :-)
Here is a link to see the entire shoot as a slideshow - in large and on black!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sparky2/sets/72157621459427754/show/

Celebration of Country, Family and Friends!

2009-07-09T15:04:00.000-05:00

"Let the Fourth of July always be a reminder that here in this land, for the first time, it was decided that man is born with certain God-given rights; that government is only a convenience created and managed by the people, with no powers of its own except those voluntarily granted to it by the people."
~ Ronald Reagan ~

Computer problems kept me from posting all the amazing things from our July 4th long weekend ... but better late than never, right?

We spent the afternoon at Bardwell Lake (near Ennis/Waxahachie) with family ... Kelly & Richie with their three kids, Richie's parents, his sister and her two kids (oh and the amazing Bailey-dog), Buddy & me, Shannon and her two and Shea & Kim (with their kid-to-be.) ;-)

The Schwartz families shared their pontoon and ski boat for an afternoon of tubing and skiing. There was a cabana for shade with baby Lukas and there were even a few quiet and tranquil moments on the beach in between dips. The weather couldn't have been finer for it and everyone had a blast.

After a day of fun and sun we made the short drive back to Kelly & Richie's house for goodies - lots of fresh fruit, veggies, cheeses and dips while dinner was on the grill ... fantastic shish-k-bobs, burgers and dogs, Laura's amazing carrot cake and cookies and I made my first flag cake... :-)

Then, of course .... FIREWORKS!!

Sometimes you've gotta just stop and eat ... or smell ... the flowers!!

2009-07-02T14:50:00.000-05:00

Another off-the-road stop on the way home from Louisiana to Texas ... these guys were so adorable. I would have taken a thousand shots if it hadn't been so unbearably hot! I think what I loved the most is that they looked so happy and healthy ... a sad contrast to some precious critters I shot right after them a few miles down the road.

View Large On Black

Success!! Mom is online ... !!

2009-06-29T23:57:00.001-05:00

Success!! Mom is online ... !!, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

Aside from the usual trip home - I had an important goal for this visit. I picked up a netbook for Mom ... (a shout of thanks to Liz for sharing her research findings and experience!) and after much angst, hair-pulling and gnashing of teeth ... (and many, many phone minutes across the miles with my saintly husband) we finally got her up and running!!!

I had already set her up with an email account ...and notified the family ... so that when she finally made the connection she had 23 emails waiting!!! Success!!! And what fun ...:-)

View Large On Black

Farmer's Market 101

2009-06-29T23:56:00.003-05:00

Farmer's Market 101, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

View Large On Black

I was setting up to shoot the beautiful bounty with Mom's red bowl and in comes my stepdad (we call him P.B.- for Papa Baker) with this funny little guy. Then he whips out his "matching" hat and poses ....

That's our P.B. .... :-D

P.B. at his best ...

2009-06-29T23:56:00.001-05:00

P.B. at his best ..., originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

I've been home again ... to the Ruston, La. Peach Festival ...

2009-06-29T23:55:00.001-05:00

I've been home again ... to the Ruston, La. Peach Festival ..., originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

Shown is shopping at the Pewter Company, my sister-in-law's booth with her fantastic, personalized items - done on the spot with her amazing computer and sewing machine ... my adorable niece ... and the amazingly delicious award-winning pepper jellies of the Old Homestead.. Also not shown: the visit to the farmer's market where we got huge, home-grown tomatoes, luscious peaches and chow-chow made by the world renowned artist, Sarah Albritton - original owner of the notable Blue Light Cafe.

NOT shown is the 104 degree temps ... the shoulder-to-shoulder crowds .... and how grateful we were for that first traditional bite of Peach Icecream!!!

I was so disappointed by how prohibitive the heat was this year wrt getting those great shots of the event. But, the excitement was still there and I was in exceptionally good company!

View Large On Black

The coveted fleur-de-lis is everywhere!!

2009-06-29T23:54:00.001-05:00

The coveted fleur-de-lis is everywhere!!, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

Best to View Large On Black

Peanut Swing

2009-06-12T15:05:00.001-05:00

Peanut Swing, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

Actually it's a wonderful Papasan swing ... ;-) Most often we sit by the window and I point out to him the bird visitors, the clouds, the budding crepe myrtle tree. He looks where I point and while he's watching the "whatever", I watch him watch it. ;-) Ahhh, Nana.

The whirly, musical attachments over his head are faced with this mirrored piece that will normally hold his attention for a long while. But. Not this time. :-)

That Woman
~~~ by Sarah Getty ~~

Look! A flash of orange along the river's edge--
"oriole!" comes to your lips like instinct, then
it's vanished--lost in the foliage,

in all your head holds, getting on with the day.
But not gone for good. There is that woman
walks unseen beside you with her apron

pockets full. Days later, or years, when you least
seem to need it--reading Frost on the subway,
singing over a candled cake--she'll reach

into a pocket and hand you this intact
moment--the river, the orange streak parting
the willow, and the "oriole!" that leapt

to your lips. Unnoticed, steadfast, she gathers
all this jumble, sorts it, hands it back like
prizes from Crackerjack. She is your mother,

who first said, "Look! a robin!" and pointed,
and there was a robin, because her own
mother had said to her, "Look!" and pointed,

and so on, back to the beginning: the mother,
the child, and the world. The damp bottom
on one arm and pointing with the other:

the peach tree, the small rocks in the shallows,
the moon and the man in the moon. So you keep on,
seeing, forgetting, faithfully followed;

and you yourself, unwitting, gaining weight,
have thinned to invisibility, become
that follower. Even now, your daughter

doesn't see you at her elbow as she walks
the beach. There! a gull dips to the Pacific,
and she points and says to the baby, "Look!"

2009-06-11T14:44:00.000-05:00

"Hello? Is anybody home? Can Karin come out and play?"

I have a friend currently living and working in China; she's been there for the past few years teaching English. The internet is her lifeline to the outside world - in fact that's how we "met" and became friends ... through sharing a love of photography, poetry, nature and more.

On the very day that my grandson received a package from Karin - filled with a grand assortment of items introducing him to the many wonders of China and its culture -

the very day that Zachary's world grew larger because of her kindness and his new knowledge of things outside his own country and people -

Karin's world was reduced to very small ... to only China. A block was placed on communication to/from China in an attempt to prevent any acknowledgement or notice to the 20th anniversary of the Tiananmen Square protest and massacre.

We take so many of our freedoms for granted ... and too often I fear we aren't paying enough attention to the workings of our society - and we blindly trust that "whoever is in charge" will do what is best for our nation. I'm feeling especially challenged and motivated away from that mindset for myself - and challenge every reader to dig, research, learn - and have an active part through your voting voice to protect our nation's freedoms.

Looking Around, Seeing and Believing

2009-06-10T15:51:00.000-05:00

I am so loving this poem right now; it seems to fit with everything about my day ...

Looking Around, Believing

by Gary Soto
How strange that we can begin at any time.
With two feet we get down the street.
With a hand we undo the rose.
With an eye we lift up the peach tree
And hold it up to the wind — white blossoms
At our feet. Like today. I started
In the yard with my daughter,
With my wife poking at a potted geranium,
And now I am walking down the street,
Amazed that the sun is only so high,
Just over the roof, and a child
Is singing through a rolled newspaper
And a terrier is leaping like a flea
And at the bakery I pass, a palm,
Like a suctioning starfish, is pressed
To the window. We're keeping busy —
This way, that way, we're making shadows
Where sunlight was, making words
Where there was only noise in the trees.

Riding A Sunbeam to A Rose ...

2009-06-05T21:26:00.001-05:00

Riding A Sunbeam to A Rose ..., originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

I know ... not an artistic or photographic triumph by any means ... this one is for me ... to remember the unmistakable feeling of connection when this lovely creature turned and looked straight into my eyes ...

View Large On Black

Sophie - Jungle Cat

2009-06-05T21:25:00.001-05:00

Sophie - Jungle Cat, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

My dear Sophie ... is nearly 14 years old ... has never been to the vet because of illness and she's doing well. I think persnickityness is her tonic. ;-) She loves to think she's getting past us into the "wildness" of the backyard so we let her when we can. I see in this shot she's been rolling in the grass again which sometimes I think she does just to get another brushing (which she loves). ;-)

Whoa! How Cool Is THAT!!!

2009-06-04T12:31:00.001-05:00

Whoa! How Cool Is THAT!!!, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

We should all take a lesson from Luke - and learn something new, exciting and cool about ourselves every day!! ;-)

Another Year Richer

2009-05-29T12:27:00.001-05:00

Another Year Richer, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

Birthday card - "signed" by Zach and Luke; photo of Luke "post-signing"; white azaleas with a year's membership to the beautiful Dallas Arboretum; phone calls & cards from my mom & brother; an enthusiastic speakerphone serenade from the other three little grands (and Maddi couldn't contain her secret ... whispered that she had made "flowers in a bottle" for me); an "unforgettable" lunch out with my girls; a housecleaning and a birthday brownie-cake (made & decorated by Shannon & Zach); a year of gift cards from the Budman for dinner dates each month - and a wake up birthday kiss from my son who snuck in the house after a long night at work. I am blessed.... :-)

Give Praise!!

2009-05-26T14:06:00.001-05:00

Group Inspection, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

Seems we were the only family in the neighborhood that didn't go away for the weekend - and the rest of our own family were away as well ... so it was quiet for us here. A nice change of pace with a new baby in the house.

There was a little customized "down time" to suit each person, I think. A bit of one-on-one with everyone for Zach (a movie, library time and painting with Mom (and a bit of extra sleep for Shan!), water play and gaming with Nana and walks with Grandpa & Krypto.) The Budman read, enjoyed some old Westerns and did some great burgers on the grill and I did some yardwork, reading and did lots of photo work (play).

Yesterday we made sandwiches and loaded up for an impromptu picnic at the pond -

Luke's first picnic!

And Zach caught his first fish - TWO in fact - one right after the other! We saw ducklings, a green heron, lots of redwing blackbirds - and a beautiful sunset to top off a lovely, long praiseworthy weekend ...

A favorite poem perfectly expresses the many things about this life that I praise and give thanks for most every day ... but most especially lately. It's long, but so is my own private list - and Ms. Porter's words are such a beautiful reminder and well worth the read:

List of Praises
by Anne Porter

Give praise with psalms that tell the trees to sing,
Give praise with Gospel choirs in storefront churches,
Mad with the joy of the Sabbath,
Give praise with the babble of infants, who wake with the sun,
Give praise with children chanting their skip-rope rhymes,
A poetry not in books, a vagrant mischievous poetry
living wild on the Streets through generations of children.

Give praise with the sound of the milk-train far away
With its mutter of wheels and long-drawn-out sweet whistle
As it speeds through the fields of sleep at three in the morning,
Give praise with the immense and peaceful sigh
Of the wind in the pinewoods,
At night give praise with starry silences.

Give praise with the skirling of seagulls
And the rattle and flap of sails
And gongs of buoys rocked by the sea-swell
Out in the shipping-lanes beyond the harbor.
Give praise with the humpback whales,
Huge in the ocean they sing to one another.

Give praise with the rasp and sizzle of crickets, katydids and cicadas,
Give praise with hum of bees,
Give praise with the little peepers who live near water.
When they fill the marsh with a shimmer of bell-like cries
We know that the winter is over.

Give praise with mockingbirds, day's nightingales.
Hour by hour they sing in the crepe myrtle
And glossy tulip trees
On quiet side streets in southern towns.

Give praise with the rippling speech
Of the eider-duck and her ducklings
As they paddle their way downstream
In the red-gold morning
On Restiguche, their cold river,
Salmon river,
Wilderness river.

Give praise with the whitethroat sparrow.
Far, far from the cities,
Far even from the towns,
With piercing innocence
He sings in the spruce-tree tops,
Always four notes
And four notes only.

Give praise with water,
With storms of rain and thunder
And the small rains that sparkle as they dry,
And the faint floating ocean roar
That fills the seaside villages,
And the clear brooks that travel down the mountains

And with this poem, a leaf on the vast flood,
And with the angels in that other country.

Remembering

2009-05-25T09:09:00.001-05:00

Remembering, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

Poppy Days: Remembering Our Veterans' Sacrifices-PTSD Combat : Winning the War Within

2009-05-24T15:06:00.000-05:00

Poppy Days: Remembering Our Veterans' Sacrifices-PTSD Combat : Winning the War Within

The Graduate

2009-05-24T03:45:00.001-05:00

The Graduate, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

... from preschool. (!!!) Somehow I don't think she'll look much different in twelve years at the next big one and just the thought of that day brought a lump to my throat!

This - and every blue iris ....

2009-05-07T19:55:00.001-05:00

This - and every blue iris ...., originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

I have so, so much to be thankful for ... spring and the blue iris are definitely on my list.

Best to View Large On Black

Praying
by Mary Oliver

It doesn't have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don't try
to make them elaborate, this isn't
a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.

Rock On, Dude!

2009-05-06T13:32:00.001-05:00

Rock On, Dude!, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

Quiet down cobwebs
Dust go to sleep ...
I'm rocking my grandson
and babies don't keep.

;-)

We've had rain, rain and more rain! A stopped up gutter (rocks thrown on the roof ... gee, wonder how that happened, Zach et al?) caused a bit of minor flooding. ;-)
The only rain-free day was Saturday when my wonderful trees were finally felled. I nearly cry each time I look out my window; I'll miss them and the critters they brought my way. The remaining trees are now trimmed high for a safer canopy - but will make it very difficult to grab those great shots from the lower hanging branches.

Another First

2009-05-06T13:31:00.001-05:00

Another First, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

At first he was drowsy, sleepy and yawning - but that didn't last long ...

He's awake NOW!!

2009-05-06T13:29:00.001-05:00

IMG_2456LukeBathCrop, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

Big brother was so sweet and helpful - tried his best to entertain and console with bubble-blowing and sharing toys ...

New Toes

2009-04-28T22:12:00.001-05:00

New Toes, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

Oh, to be born in the spring!!!!

2009-04-28T22:11:00.001-05:00

Oh, to be born in the spring!!!!, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

Luke's first warm, sunny spring afternoon outdoors ...

Our Luke - five hours old.

2009-04-28T22:10:00.001-05:00

Our Luke - five hours old., originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

I proudly introduce our fifth little miracle, Lukas Alexander. I'm sure you now understand a large part of the reason for my absence of late!
He was about three weeks early and we weren't quite prepared so there was much to do. But all is well; he's beautiful and brilliant and we adore him!

The Rain Speaks of Spring

2009-03-28T22:50:00.003-05:00

The Rain Speaks of Spring, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

View Large On Black

First we had temps in the 80's and we were getting a bit spoiled - starting to settle into the notion of Spring. Mother Nature had different ideas and set us straight; we've now had wind, rain and cold (33 degrees) for several days. Tomorrow it's back to sunny and 70's! ;-)
" ...
the rain
spoke to me
slowly, saying,
what joy
to come falling
out of the brisk cloud,
to be happy again
in a new way
on the earth!
... "

Excerpt from:
Last Night the Rain Spoke to Me
~ by Mary Oliver ~

2009-03-28T22:50:00.001-05:00

Speaking of Spring, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

2009-03-28T22:49:00.001-05:00

Speaking of Spring 2, originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

Make a wish ... and blow ...

2009-03-26T20:30:00.001-05:00

Make a wish ... and blow ..., originally uploaded by Sparky2*.

I wish ... I wish ... and I wish for my family. If only wishing made it so.

"To understand your parents' love, you must raise children yourself." ~
Chinese proverb

I only hope that someday our children do come to understand just how great our love for them is.

"The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in
the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together."

~Erma Bombeck

"Grey's Anatomy" is a guilty pleasure in which I don't often have the chance to indulge ... but tonight I did. This line leaped out at me and stuck. Here's the setup:

At first glance, the family of a dying elderly woman in ER appeared cold and uncaring ... when the woman was resuscitated from a flat line episode, the indignant doctor wanted to clear the room of all the "family love" said with great sarcasm. The old woman shook her head and said,

"No. People are better than no people. They're MY people."

Then came the time when the flat line was final and true - and so were the family's tears and reluctance to let her go. It became real. And they really loved her - in the way of their own - a way she felt and understood. She was their people.

Brought home to me all the love that lies beneath the faults of each individual in a family. Wow. What a plan. :-)

Spring "Break" ...

2009-03-24T11:57:00.000-05:00

... is finally over! I think they call it a "break" because it's so crammed full of activities that it does just that to you!

We filled our days and nights so full as to be overflowing with memories: play days with old friends and others with cousins, saw "Inkheart" (and loved it), went to Chili's for Zach's "Pepper Award" free dinner and had Molten Lava Cake. Zachary went swimming at the health club with Grandpa, fishing at the little pond, a picnic/fishing/hiking day at the big pond with all the kids ...

Just getting this photo was an adventure unto itself! It was like herding cats to get them all safely planted and facing the camera at the same time!

"Blessed be childhood, which brings down something of heaven into the midst of our rough earthliness."
Henri-Frédéric Amiel (20th century), Swiss poet, philosopher.) ~